marriage breakdown, divorce, and unfulfilling relationships... There is a solution.
Slash your risk of divorce, stop arguments before they start, have better sex, achieve your dreams and goals, give each other your bestBe confident and secure in a lifelong, warm, loving relationship!------- If you are getting engaged, getting married, or moving in together this letter might be the most important thing you read this year. You know the problem is realWhen you've gone through a divorce, you know first-hand how painful it is. Were you a child when your parents split? Remember how scary that was? Did your first marriage end in divorce? I'll bet you felt sad, hurt or angry. You may have felt utterly betrayed, even clinically depressed. By the end, you were financially and emotionally drained. You know the stats:
Divorce may be a "necessary evil" for society. It lets people escape disasterous mistakes and abusive relationships. But many, many couples could have avoided the pain. Divorce isn't the only problem. In fact, it is more of a symptom! The real issue for couples is unfulfilling, unhappy, broken marriages. They lead to divorce. Some people do get the shock of their lives when their spouse suddenly leaves. But for most couples, it is a long slide and neither one is happy. You certainly see the evidence all around you. There are the couples that "stay together for the sake of the kids". Married men and women sneaking around, having affairs, because they just don't know how to get what they need in their own home. And a lot of couples who seem more like roommates than soulmates. And a lot of people haven't felt the sting of divorce yet and don't have the incentive you do. They don't know that they need to take action. That just hoping for it to work out better doesn't work. Who I am
I'm the author of "Road Trip! The goal setting guide for couples". I have a Master's Degree in Education from the University of Manchester, England. I've been a college-level instructor for most of the last 20 years. My focus has been on teaching language to adult learners, but five years ago I realised that there was an area I was even more passionate about. You see my thesis research was on locus of control and attribution theory. These are complex and fascinating areas. The research shows that students who feel they are in control of their results do better in learning situations. That's right. If you are in control or if you take control, you do better than if you think your grades are just "luck" or "fate".
After our premarriage counseling, I realized that my academic training that worked so well in the classroom could work just as well in the field of marriage education. I was convinced that couples who take control of their relationships would have better results in their marriages. Just like the students in my classrooms. And I started writing a book. As I was doing the research, though, I started to notice something. Most of the couples I spoke to were not doing premarital counselling or marriage preparation. There were lots of gifted counselors out there. There were already good books (and even some e-books). And there were a lot of church courses or continuing education courses for people who were getting married. Yet, something wasn't working for most of you. In many jurisdictions only a third of couples have any marriage education before they tie the knot! I started to wonder if the Internet could offer an alternative. I was frankly excited by the idea that we could give people a different way of getting the marriage edge. Premarital counseling, marriage preparation or a premarriage course...Call it what you will, it is the one thing that you can do now to dramatically drop your risk of divorce. March 2006 findings from the Journal of Family Psychology show that couples who participate in some type of premarital education are 30% less likely to get divorced.
Now this is critical. If you do marriage preparation together, you are much more likely to be satisfied with your relationship as a married couple. There is a myth out there that couples go to premarriage courses and find out that they are not suited. So they don't get married. In three years of research, I never met anyone that happened to. What really happens: couples who prepare understand each other better and communicate better. So they have a better chance of making each other happy in the long run. So they tend to stay together. You don't break up because of marriage education... you get closer! why don’t people do premarital counseling?When couples don't see a Marriage and Family Therapist or take a pre marriage course, it is usually because they worry about:
You have to admit, these are valid concerns for many couples.
The CouplesQuestions Marriage Preparation Program addresses your concerns and makes it easier than ever before to prepare yourselves for your marriage – on your terms. We are big fans of premarital counseling, but we understand that many couples don't want to see a therapist. We know that churches have done lots of great pre marriage programs. And we also know that many couples don't want to go that route, either. Here is a summary of the benefits you receiveOUR PREMARITAL PROGRAM IS PRIVATE AND SECURE. Only the two of you are involved. There are no counselors or reviewers. In fact, no one sees your answers unless you let them. (Which you may want to do... one of the things you can do with our premarriage assessment is complete it before you talk to a counselor, priest or pastor. You'll find they are pretty happy to meet with thoughtful, prepared couples. And it could save you considerable money if you can get right to the point with a counselor who is charging $100 an hour.) OUR PROGRAM IS NOT BASED ON RELIGION so it is perfect for you if you have mixed religious backgrounds or no religious affiliation. It will also work for you as a companion to a religious marriage preparation program as it may go much more in-depth in certain areas (such as "sex"). Religion is one of the topics we cover, because it is often very important to couples. OUR PROGRAM IS EASY TO START. You log on and begin answering questions about yourselves. There is no homework, since the main topic is YOU. In fact, our research shows that the secret to a happy marriage is that there is no one secret! Too many books offer "the" supposed answer and it usually goes along the lines of "All men are this way and all women are that way." Generalities can be helpful... but only if the two of you are perfectly average. The fact is, the most important things you need to know are about each other. What you want, what you need, how you and your family of origin do things, what your dreams and goals are... In short, it really is all about you. You two, that is. OUR PROGRAM IS ENTIRELY ONLINE which lets you you each log in separately, answer the questions, and then compare your answers. If you have hectic schedules, you can complete it any time of the day, or on evenings and weekends. You can also complete it at a distance, if one of you is going to school or working in a different city or volunteering in Africa. IT WASN'T CHEAP TO PUT OUR MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM ON A DATABASE. Actually, our first design cost almost $10,000. But having it on a database is a huge advantage to you because it is much more interactive, unlike a book (or e-book). It draws you in. You can move through the program with the click of a mouse, print off your answers and compare them so easily. And because it is on the database, you can go back in as many times as you like for a full year. Some couples answer all the questions in one sitting and others go back in and do a section every week or two. It is up to you! OUR PROGRAM IS PRACTICAL WITHOUT KILLING THE ROMANCE. I'll admit that databases are not that romantic, but you still can be. Our premarriage program isn't dry and dull and academic. It moves along quickly and the database does all the boring recordkeeping for you. YOU get to focus on each other. Learning what it is that you need to do to make each other happy. WE GUIDE YOU THROUGH ALL THE KEY QUESTIONS. No searching the Internet for the top ten questions that engaged couples must ask each other, no wondering what issues to bring up. We'll admit that our program takes some work. But it also gives you the confidence that your are doing your due diligence. And then lets you get back to things that are more fun. When you are done, you will have a clear shared vision of what your marriage will look like. And because you'll be setting goals together, you'll have a roadmap for the journey. You will also have cleared up a bunch of assumptions about each other, about your relationship and about your marriage. Assumptions that could trip you up later. Even if you already finish each other's sentences, you will still find out things about each other. You will feel closer, understand each other better, and have a more fulfilling life together. We guarantee itBest of all, there's no risk. We are very confident that our program will work for you, just as it has for others. We are so confident that you will love the CouplesQuestions program that we guarantee it for a full year. That's right 365 days! If you are not completely satisfied, just tell us. We will refund your full purchase price. You don't have to decide right away if our approach to marriage preparation is right for you. Just sign up. If you find you aren't having "aha moments", if you find that light bulbs aren't going on as you talk, if you find our references aren't the resources for you... or if you find that the program just isn't working for you... just let us know. We will refund every cent you paid. Click here to register securely... To your success, Heather del Villano, M.Ed P.S. The best thing you can do for your upcoming marriage is to prepare together! There is a reason that divorce rates are slowly going down all over the world: People like you are taking the steps to make sure their marriages are life-long, happy and fulfilling. It is up to you. We just make it a lot easier. P.P.S. Too many couples put marriage preparation off until it is too late and they have a problem. Please give us a try. Registration is easy. You just need a credit card. There is no risk to you -- if CouplesQuestions is not for you, we refund in full. Simple, really! |