Good, good, good vibrations over the web

No, we are not talking about down loading that classic Beach Boys song. We are talking about the latest in toys designed to enhance your relationship.

Note: The following post contains references to sex and new technology in sex toys. If that is not your deal, check back with us another day when we are back to our normally G-Rated selves.

As you know we like to post on the latest and greatest of what's new in relationships. In her article today, Jennifer Parks of Canwest News Service introduces us to teledildonics: electronic sex toys that are controlled via the internet. For those couples that indulge in cybersex and are already making that mental connection via the web, teledildonics would assist with the physical side of things, presumably making it a more complete experience. Or at least increase the level of interaction when you are miles apart.

According to Parks' research, the idea is this: You would buy an internet compatible sex toy and then download the appropriate software (highjoy.com and sinulator.com are suggested in the article...we know nothing about them at this point). Then, all your partner requires is access to the internet and they can then control your sex toy over the web.

Who would use this? Well, the image of a busy corporate executive who is unable to get home for a lunchtime quickie availing himself of these products and services has a decidedly high Yuck factor for me. Yet, somehow military personnel using them to stay intimate while they are posted overseas isn't quite as distasteful. But that is just me.

I worry about the seedy, um, er, the seedier side of this technology. Will people cheat more with this technology? Will it cause more infidelity? I can certainly imagine a situation where a person is having cybersex with someone other than their spouse, arguing it isn't really cheating...

Labels: relationships, sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 11:39 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Sex and Money

I'm not saying they necessarily go together...

But they happen to be the topics of the two newest articles in our growing library.

They are kinda how-to ish: how to have better sex, how to make better financial decisions. So they sort of go together.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: about CouplesQuestions, money, resources, sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:45 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

The old myth of sexual peak

It's a truism we've all heard: men peak sexually at 18 and women peak at 36. But it's a myth.

The myth comes from the Kinsey Report in the 1960s. What it actually measured was how many orgasms men and women were having. And 18 year-old boys masturbate a lot. So lots of orgasms.

On the other hand, 36-year old women tend to be in comfortable relationships that work for them, both in and out of bed. So they have more orgasms.

And guys, this is a good thing to know. The average woman finds sex better when she's been with the same guy for years!

via Vancouver Magazine

Labels: sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 8:31 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Marriage, Jane's Guide

Warning: Risque content!

JaneSays has two thoughtful pieces on marriage in the last two days. Being the sex-positive, alternative sort that she is, she has a wider range of experience than most of us.

I didn't find the blog easy to navigate so here are the two posts:

• the first has the unlikely title of 'books and rain and colds, part deux', but trust me, it moves onto marriage
• the second post -- 'more on marriage' -- follows from the first

Warning again: Jane's Guide (the blog is part of it) is a sex site, with explicit everything including ads. If that isn't your thing, don't follow the links.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: marriage, sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 8:01 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Sex in space

Labels: fun, sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 9:55 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Articles to help

It looks like we've been focused on the holidays, neglecting to post. Truth is we've been over at our new version of this blog.

There are several new posts there. Probably more interesting is our new library of marriage articles at CouplesQuestions.com.

Currently, you'll find:

• one on kissing to rekindle your relationship
• one on how to make a great wedding speech
• one on how to shave thousands off the cost of your wedding!

We've got three others pending, including one on what one couple learned in premarital counseling.

And we are always open to your suggestions. Heck, write for us if you are a decent writer and know something related to marriage!

Happy Couples, Happy Planet and Happy Holidays!

Labels: holidays, money, romance, sex, weddings

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:13 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Kissing for Couples

It is really rather fitting that the first article in our new library of marriage and premarital resources should be on kissing!

Labels: about CouplesQuestions, recommended, relationships, romance, sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 2:58 PM 1 Comments Links to this post

Talk it Out Before You Tie The Knot - Low Sex Drive!

What is it they say be for TV shows with adult content? WARNING: the following contains mature content of a sexual nature and may not be suitable for all readers. Seriously.

There is no getting around it, sex is a big part of most marriages and at some point, though very dificult for many people, it needs be discussed. The format of the couplesquestions.com workbook may help take some of the embarrassment out of these (and possibly other) types of discussions. But in the meantime...

We aren't experts in sex therapy, but we had an e-mail lately from a man concerned about how his low sex drive and inability to perform the way he wants is affecting his marriage. We replied to him specifically, but a blog post on the subject generally may offer suggestions to other men in this same situation. Hopefully we can help a little.

First off, if you are experiencing low sex drive and inability to perform (impotence or premature ejaculation) you are probably pretty normal. There are lots of people in the same situation. Your first step should be to go talk to your doctor and see if there is anything wrong medically. It could be any number of things. It could be something that there is a medication for. Or it could be something like work stress. In that case, you may need to make a change in your life, like getting a different job.

Second, having a low sex drive may not even be the problem. The problem may be that you and your wife (we are assuming same-sex partners) are not in sync. If you have a very low sex drive and she has a high one, you both need to find a way to meet in the middle. You might think that sexual intercourse is the only real sex, but it is not (no matter what Bill Clinton says!). You could try oral sex on her and then finish up with intercourse. You could hold her and hug her while she masturbates. There is massage, there are games, there are toys.

It might be hard to try anything new when you are already nervous or even angry with each other. It may be much easier if you see a therapist or counsellor together. The counsellor will be much more helpful than we could ever be. And because they have all the proper training, you are both more likely to believe what they tell you.

Talking to your doctor or counsellor will probably be tough for you to do. Most men don't like to talk about this stuff, especially if there is a problem. But that is what doctors and counselors are there for. If you really find it too embarrassing, then print off this blog post and give that to the doctor to read. Your marriage is worth it.

If you can't afford a counsellor, you might be able to get free counselling provided at work or you might talk to your minister or priest or someone else like that. There are lots of free resources available from libraries, community centers, and free clinics. Start with a Google Search of what's available in your area.

You are doing the right thing -- looking for the knowledge you need to fix the problem. You should be proud of yourself. One thing you should ask yourself is "Does my partner know that I am trying to fix this situation?" Just like any challenge in a relationship, talking (or communicating about it in some way) helps. Your partner needs to know that you are worried about the situation and trying to do something ot make it better. She might not know it. You should tell her what you are doing. And you should tell her that you are doing it because she is worth it. So is your relationship.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:35 AM 2 Comments Links to this post