Saturday, March 29, 2008

Earth Hour

Tonight, with millions of other people, we'll be taking part in Earth Hour.

For us, it'll be quiet and romantic. The kids will be in bed, so we can't go out for a walk (much as I'd like to see the city when its well and truly dark).

Earth Hour is not really about saving any energy, but rather about community and shared purpose. These are things we generally like.

(We also really liked Google's 'light out' look today.)

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

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posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:27 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Monday, March 10, 2008

Am I too young to get married?

How old are you? How old is your partner? Are you or your partner under the age of 25?

There is no magic age to get married. Younger couples and older couples alike can have very happy and successful marriages. However it must be stated that, on average, couples that get married under the age of 25 are significantly more likely to get divorced than their older counterparts. Statistics show the younger you are when you marry, the more likely you are to split up. After 25, the effect levels off.

It is not difficult to imagine why those who marry young have a harder time staying together. Those under 25 will likely have varying degrees of immaturity and lack some of the emotional development and communicative skills required in a successful serious relationship.

Also, many younger married couples are tying the knot for the wrong reasons. Perhaps an unplanned pregnancy, perhaps a desire to leave the family home and a chance to be “grown up”, or perhaps it just seem like the right thing to do because you really love the other person. It also might be the case, especially for many younger women, that they are caught up in the fairytale ideal of being a bride and a wife.

If you are under 25, we consider that to be a bit of a red flag for possible trouble down the line. We recommend three possible actions to give yourselves a greater chance at success in marriage:
  1. Wait a few years before getting married, if possible. If you are in love enough to get married, a year or two more shouldn’t matter.

  2. Hold off on having children for the first few years. That will give you invaluable time to enjoy yourselves as a couple, before the demands of parenting. Actually, this is good advice for most couples. But the younger you are, the more freedom you have before the biological clock starts ticking.

  3. Do some kind of marriage preparation through your church or temple or synagogue, with a counselor, or through our online marriage preparation program.

At the very least, ask yourself this (and be honest): What is the rush? Am I really getting married for the right reasons? You deserve the best relationship and the best life possible.

Make your decisions wisely.

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posted by Heather and Dan @ 10:24 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Sunday, March 2, 2008

How do I find a pre marriage course or counseling?

Our first recommendation is always to go with an accredited counselor. The AAMFT has a searchable list of marriage therapists for the US and Canada.

It's worth asking around for recommendations from people you know. You might start with your wedding planner or whoever will be performing your wedding ceremony. Ask anyone you know who got married in the past few years, as well. Also, ask any happily married couple that you think of as a role model -- even if they are not recently married, they may know someone or have heard of someone.

Your place of worship may also have a program or someone that they suggest. Classroom marriage preparation is often offered through community centres or continuing education programs.

One thing you should be aware of is that courses are often given by churches who are trying to attract people back into the fold. That is fair enough and might be to your benefit -- hey, they are not going to entice you back to church if they put on a crappy program! But if that doesn't appeal to you, then ask the question before signing up.

Lastly, there are a number of online options, including us of course (if you don't want to go the counselor route).

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posted by Heather and Dan @ 10:03 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

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