When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you

posted by Heather and Dan @ 10:45 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

It's good to have a plan for the rough patches...

...And there will be rough patches.

If you are getting married it is REALLY important to talk over how you are going to handle the bumps in the road that you will experience during your life together. And we really recommend having these talks BEFORE you hit the bumps...it will make them easier to bear if you have a plan.

As a couple, talk about the "what ifs" and go through hypothetical situations to see how you might handle problems together. Hopefully, these situations will never come to pass, but at least the doors of communication will be opened for when problems arise.

Talk about how the two of you might handle the following:

• What if you want to have children but discover you have difficulty conceiving?
• What if one of you loses your job?
• What if you are faced with looking after aging parents?
• What if a drug or alcohol dependency becomes an issue?
• What if one partner gains a great deal of weight?
  
• What if one partner is transferred to a different part of the country or overseas?

This whole issue has come to the forefront for us lately as we have friends who are struggling with some difficult issues in their relationship. Their current trouble may have been made easier to handle had they discussed the situation early on in their relationship, but it was "something we never talked about" and now it's a big deal. A very big deal.

Your relationship is worth it. Talk it out before you tie the knot and have a plan for when trouble hits.

For these and other types of premarriage discussions, take advantage of a premarriage course in your area or go to CouplesQuestions.com for a full, private, online marriage preparation program. You will be glad you did.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: happy unions, premarital 101, premarriage questions

posted by Heather and Dan @ 4:29 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

What is Love Sickness?

Ever wondered about the chemistry of romance and falling in love?

Maybe not. Who wants to think about anything but your beloved during those early days of adoration and irresistibility, right? But when you, the thinking romantic, come up for air you may be interested to know that a fairly involved array of chemicals sets to work as we find ourselves in strongly attached to another. And, that over time those chemicals shift and change as more from the heady days of excitement and infatuation and we move into the more comfortable, secure phase of a relationship.

Whether you are getting married or have been so for years you probably already have a sense (or experience) of these shifts and changes to your relationship on an emotional level. Now we are gaining a greater understanding of what is happening during these stages of love at at the physical level.

Interested in a little human biochemistry lesson for the amorous phenomenon? Nicole Tomlinson of the CBC has written a very accessible article in which she examines the complex emotions of infatuation, passion and devotion and ponders whether they really boil down to a series of chemical reactions. A very interesting read.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: love, marriage, relationships

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:46 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

"Chore"play: The new porn for women

Looking for some of that good, good loving, guys? Well, get out the rubber gloves and scrub brushes because a new study reveals that "men who do dishes get more kisses".

In a recent article by Misty Harris, any over worked gal has finally got a bit of extra incentive to encourage their male counterparts to help out more around the house. Harris reports that a poll of 1300 moms by Parenting Magazine shows that 15% of women are turned on by seeing their partner pitch in with the chores. As well, there is evidence given by the American Journal of Public Health that there is a "significant association" between a wife's emotional health and how much housework is done by her husband. Furthermore, a 2006 study done by sociologists in the US said found that "husbands who help around the house are more attractive to their wives".

This whole concept is illustrated in books and calendars (see pic) from the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative series "Porn for Women". Though undoubtedly meant, at least in part, tongue in cheek, these pictures really do get many women excited and ready for a romp.

Why might this be? In a nutshell, Harris tells us that some researchers surmise that when male partners help out with the housework it

• on a basic level, frees their partner's energy up to engage in sexual activity (a tired woman is far less likely to be interested)
• on a deeper level, is interpreted by women as showing a deeper commitment to the relationship
• helps the woman to feel that her husband understands and respects what life is like for her (presumably especially in the child raising years when the job of the at home caregiver is more all encompassing than any paying job)
  

So now you know.

Doing more household chores = happier, more relaxed wife = better sex.

Now get out those vacuum cleaners, boys!

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 4:09 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

It's better here

Wherever here is.

For us, it is the Fairfield neighbourhood. We have been planning to finish our basement so that Dan's parents can move in with us. We have also been looking at selling this house and buying another that would do the trick without the hassle and risk of a major renovation.

What holds us back from moving is that we love our house and we really love the neighbourhood. Really, it's the neighbours. They're great.

Giving them up seems like a much bigger risk than renovating 60 year-old plumbing!

Seems that we are not alone in thinking this way, though. According to a study (Toth, Brown, and Xu 2002) published in "The Hundred Simple Secrets of Happy Families":

People who are highly satisfied with their neighborhood are 25% more likely to be highly satisfied with their family life.

Now it could be that happy families beget better neighbors, too. Either way, we don't want to mess with success.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: life

posted by Heather and Dan @ 7:47 AM 1 Comments Links to this post