Not a happy topic to be sure, but it IS an important one.

Not surprisingly, abuse in a relationship is a key cause of discord, break up and divorce. In fact, merely having a history of abuse in your family of origin (that is, the family you grew up in) is a key predictor of whether you will eventually divorce (especially for men).

The common wisdom has always been that boys who grow up in abusive families tend to become abusers themselves, while girls who grow up in such families tend to end up abused as adults. It is a sad fact that people normally keep to familiar situations and patterns, even if they are uncomfortable or downright harmful.

That prevailing wisdom may be changing somewhat, though not necessarily for the better. More and more research is showing that women are often the abusers, rather than men. There is a good (if somewhat political) roundup of these findings on the men’s interests blog of the 451 network.

There were two great little news reports of a romantic (or perhaps quasi-romantic) nature on the CBC Radio’s ‘The Current’ yesterday morning that are really worth checking out in the CBC Radio archives.

(go to http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/2007/200703/20070307.html and click on the little listening icon for PART 3…or download it to your ipod thingy)

The first is an interview with Dave Rose who is the Personal Classifieds Editor of the London Review of Books. That personal ad space has become what ‘The Current’ host Anna Maria Tremonti calls a “much-celebrated forum for the forlorn and a compendium of clever come-ons” - even if some of them are totally over the top! Rose’s job is to read through every single (clever, witty, strange, unique, bizarre, erudite) personal ad that eventually finds its way into that publication. He’s put together a book of the best of them entitled They call me Naughty Lola. It is a very entertaining piece and fun to listen to with your sweetie. Anyone who has ever tried online dating, or contemplated a personal ad will relate…and laugh!

The second piece has more of a cultural anthropological bent…but don’t let that turn you off!! It was really interesting! Interviewed was Chris McCollum of Pennsyvania, USA. He wrote his PhD dissertation on how people tell their love stories and what that says about how we understand romance and relationships. Surprising findings! This story may just give you something new to think about the way you tell YOUR love story.

Happy listening, and…

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!