When should you do your premarital counselling?
Or premarriage course or marriage preparation?
A good rule of thumb is to start six months before the big day. Earlier is even better, of course, but you can also get benefits from a marriage course even shortly after you get married.
The beauty of the six month rule is that you have time to sort things out, without the pressure of the impending wedding. Weddings tend to grow, they tend to become all-consuming, and they can easily push the marriage education right into the background.
Doing your premarriage education early also means that you can cancel the wedding in the unlikely event that you find you have irreconcileable differences. Perhaps in an ideal world, all of us would do some form of marriage preparation and we would actively look for reasons not to get married to each other. Now, you don’t need us to tell you that that doesn’t sound fun. And you don’t really need to worry much about that happening.
It’s safe to say that most courses, counselors and programs don’t actively search out reasons that you shouldn’t marry. Like you, they are generally hopeful, believe that you can learn to improve your marriage, and want you to succeed. They aren’t looking for deal breakers. The good ones, though, do help you find where you might have problems.
Then, you can either sort them out right away or you can be aware of them so that they can be handled when the time comes.
Happy Couples, Happy Planet!
Labels: premarital 101, premarriage questions, weddings
posted by Heather and Dan @ 9:52 PM
1 Comments :
1.
jane said,
on January 14th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Hi,
Very good blog site I live in England and have been seeing a great guy who does relaxation awareness & counseling. he does not have a web site but just works on word of mouth, this is how I found him. Talking six months before marriage ( which you mentioned & is why I am writing to you all) was fantastic for me and has laid a lot of ghosts , which may have spoilt my marriage in the future. I have now been married five months and everything is still very new and Exciting , but I am sure in 10 years time with no secreats we will still have amazing fun..watch this space.. My life saver ( as I call him ) over here is a guy who was brought up by Jesuit Priests where he was taught his skills and he now spends a lot of his time travelling around the festivals in his 100year old Gypsy Waggon which is where I first met him , he invited me in and I talked for what seemed ever I was totally relaxed and felt no bad vibes it was like being back with my mother. He has on many occasions seen both me and my husband. I don’t expect you are allowed to have his address but if you are this is it
awareness@talktalk.net
I am going to keep looking at your blog and always learning, it is so refreshing to know that one is never alone even when not with a partener, which is what I feared most.
Take care all of you and trust in your mind Jane xx
Note: this comment was originally posted in an earlier version of our blog and we have reposted it here.
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