Some say “Yes, absolutely!”

If you are freshly engaged or newly married, it may seem difficult to imagine time when you’d want to take a separate vacation from your partner. But the time may come when doing just that will turn out to be a great thing for your relationship.

Susan Schwartz, a CanWest reporter, writes about this in her article “Spouses go separate vacation ways“. She states, according to Betty Goldwarg, who is a Montreal psychotherapist, travelling independently can help partners to grow individually and as a couple. Schwartz goes on to say taking a trip, however long or short, without one’s partner means seeing a place from a different perspective than you would together — and returning home with stories to tell.

Dan and I LOVE to get away together. In fact, we recently had an incredible night away at Sooke Harbour House that renewed our romance and left us well-fed and rested. But having said that, we each encourage the other to take breaks now and again — especially now that our lives are so busy with work and with the children. The breaks are also a great idea because we don’t share ALL the same interests and they give us a chance to explore some of the things we like to do individually.

I recently had a weekend away with my girlfriends and Dan had a week in Halifax hanging out with his brother. I love it that we encouraged each other to take these trips. It’s always hard to leave, but it really makes me appreciate him and miss him. Strange, but it feels good missing him. I think he feels the same way, too.

Separate vacations are a good idea as long as the relationship is on stable footing. As Schwartz says, solo vacations can work, as long as the couple has a committed relationship that is healthy and sound. She refers to psychologist Marla Yanofsky who notes “If there is a strength in the couple, it can be seen as a healthy thing — that there is independence.” If all a couple takes is separate vacations or if one person resents the other person taking off on their own, then there could be a problem.

Why not talk this issue over with your partner. Ask them how they would feel taking a holiday on their own. Ask them how they would feel about you doing it? Discuss it, talk about pros and cons, and set some goals for ways to have some time apart AND strengthen your relationship. This kind of communication is really beneficial early on in a relationship and will help you avoid pitfalls later on.

Need other ideas of things to chew over with your loved one? Go to CouplesQuestions.com and find ways to make your marriage extraordinary.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!