Tying the knot this year? You might consider reading “One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding” (Penguin Press) by Rebecca Mead when it comes out in May before you go too crazy-loco with the wedding plans. It is a work that takes a close look at some of “the absurdities inherent in our own behavior” as we plan, orchestrate and execute the North American Wedding.

Be warned though, read this book and you will want to elope, or so says columnist Holly Brubach of the New York Times in her article published yesterday.

Among other interesting points and (rather unflattering) observations, Brubach writes:

“Unmoored from tradition and religion, the wedding has become a vehicle for the couple’s solipsistic fascination with their own image, their urge to mythologize the story of their love.”

And she wonders:

“What prompts couples — women, in particular, since they’re the ones on whom the burden of reply cards and chair covers and seating charts ordinarily falls — to sign up for what several brides characterize as a steady diet of stress? Mead ascribes this willingness, even eagerness, to play along with the most arcane aspects of staging a celebration to couples (again, one imagines, brides in particular) hedging their bets, hoping that a lavish wedding will provide the solid start of a lasting marriage.”

It used to be believed that the longer the brides dress, the greater the chance the couple had at success in their life together. At least that’s what the Bridal magazines in the 50s and 60s told us. Though ridiculous (faulty logic can easily be found by citing numerous examples), it seems much simpler and sweeter somehow than some of the chaos that goes on nowadays. In Mead’s book, the images are even less flattering.

Did you know that for the average (average, mind you!) North American wedding requires 43 vendors? 43! Did you know that the cost of such a wedding is now, on average, well over $27,000? And when did it become all about the bride? When did we become such egomaniacs? Why is it that people are willing to go in to huge debt for their weddings?

Check out Brubach’s article if you haven’t already. And I will definitely be reading Rebecca Mead’s book. I am hoping it will remind people that it is not the wedding that makes the couple, it’s the MARRIAGE that makes the couple!

And the couple that makes the marriage!
Happy Couples, Happy Planet!