It is a key question for many couples — how much time together or how much time apart? No matter how much you love someone, you need some time apart. You need to pursue your own interests and you need to look after yourself.

Today, we’ve posted the first of what will eventually be a series of articles on this subject (on the CouplesQuestions library).

It deals mostly with the need to balance your needs with those of your partner and those of the relationship itself.

It really is the case that the relationship is a separate entity from the two of you. You need to take some action to make it better, but you also need to keep yourself as a priority. It is a balancing act that most people could improve a bit. And one that you will likely be able to improve just by keeping it in mind.

In one of those coincidences that happens all the time, I got an e-mail from a friend today. He is serving in Afghanistan in a position that keeps him apart from his wife for months at a time. This is not an arrangement that would work well for me or for Heather. Yes, we’d survive it and our relationship would survive it. But we’d never volunteer to be apart unless there was one heck of a reason. Yet it works fine for my friends.

It is something that can be a real stressor, especially if you are on different pages. If you marry expecting that your partner will generally always be around, you need to make sure that he or she isn’t one of those people who thinks nothing of being apart for weeks or months (for the sake of their career, for example).

Anyway… read the article and let us know what you think.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!