Planning a wedding? Don’t forget it’s HIS big day, too!

There are brides who have had their wedding day planned down to the very last miniscule and amazingly beautiful detail from the day they got engaged.

Heck, some have it all planned long before they even met the man of their dreams and have been refining the particulars of the shindig since childhood. After all, it is a favorite topic if interest and discussion for many women. We love the details of the wedding gown and the bridesmaids’ dresses and the color schemes and the flowers and the hairdos and the music and the menus... It’s fun for many of us!

But what about the guys? Does the Cinderella day that has been organized in your mind for such a long time suit your fiance too? Are his personality, background and interests being reflected in The Day or are you taking over and making it your way or the highway?

I think it is safe to say that not all men will be remotely interested in planning a wedding (True, I have seen many an eye glaze over!) and find themselves comfortable with the idea that whatever you plan will be fine. Just tell them when and where to show up. (Come to think of it I can think of a few women who think that way too, but that is another blog.) However, believe it or not, not all men think that way. Don’t assume your future hubby doesn’t want to be involved or at least have some input. Some fellas may even wish to help because they see the amount of stress that you are under but don't know where to begin.

BridalGuide.com has some great ideas about how you might include the man in your life as you plan your big day. Using some of these suggestions might motivate your fiancé to become more involved in the planning and help the two of you to come up with a wedding that reflects you as a couple, not just the bride.

Here are a few of my favorite ideas from Patricia King’s article (For some more suggestions be sure to check out her “Top 10 Man-Friendly duties”):

Put his interests to use
Is your fiancé an accountant? Have him draw up a budget. If he’s a writer, put him in charge of the vows or the invitation wording.

Change your perspective (I love this idea!)
Before you start planning that fantasy-fuelled extravaganza, stop. Forget the whole wedding idea for a minute. Sit down with your fiancé and pretend you’re planning a New Year’s Eve or birthday party instead. What would be the most important aspect of your shindig? What would you spend the most money on? What’s relatively less important? If you approach it - for a few minutes, anyway - as a laid-back party that the two of you are throwing together, it becomes less intimidating, and you’ll get more involvement, input and help from your guy.

Mine his memory
Ask your fiancé what he remembers about weddings he’s attended. What did he love or hate? Which wedding stands out the most, and why? At which wedding did he have the most fun? The answers to these questions will give you both a better idea of what is important to him.

Discuss your relationship
Any way that you can personalize your ceremony or reception will not only add to your guests’ enjoyment, but will also make planning more fun and meaningful for you. Jennifer Hardy, 29, of Walled Lake, Michigan, and her fiancé, Phil, have put a twist on the reception playlist with a nontraditional tune that hits home. 'Since we’re both high school teachers and we met at the school where we work, we’ve requested that the DJ play Van Halen’s ‘Hot for Teacher!’'

Shy away from tradition
Together come up with a way of doing things a little bit differently. If you have a wedding with many out-of-town guests who are unfamiliar with your city, forego the rehearsal dinner and try something different: Rent a coach bus, hired a tour guide and give friends and family a tour of the town. The guest will love it and it will be nice for the Bride and Groom to simply relax and mingle before the big day.

Including the groom in the wedding plans may mess with the dream wedding you have had going on in your head for some time. But incorporating his ideas and his personality you may find that the real wedding is more beautiful, more meaningful and more fun than you ever imagined.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 2:12 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

What does romance mean to you?

I remember a TV ad a little while ago (it was one of those where I have no recollection of what they are selling, but I liked it anyway) that showed a man and woman on the couch on their anniversary. He gives her a tiny little box with a bow on it and she hands him a pizza. Each opens their gift with absolute delight knowing that the other had given them the perfect expression of love. Dan and I always laughed at that one because it could have been us in that ad. It matched us to a tee...maybe other couples, too.

There is, of course, more to romance than gift giving - it is also in the way we act toward our spouse/partner. No two people view romance in exactly the same way and it's probably no secret that men and women have a different idea of the "Art of Wooing". Sometimes we do things for our partner because it is what WE like and assume (always dangerous!) that our beloved will like it too. Just because I love to have a candle lit bubble bath drawn for me at the end of a long day, does not mean Dan would enjoy it or find it romantic.

Wouldn't you like to know what your partner's true idea of romance is? Wouldn't you like to know what you do that makes them feel cared for and adored? You may think you know, but do you really? This should be one of the dicussions couples have early on in their relationship to smooth the way for a loving future together. Below is a great little assignment from the folks at lovingyou.com. Lovingyou.com is a terrific resource that I only just discovered a short while ago (where the heck have I been?) that you should check out.

Assignment:

• Think about what romance and love mean to you and how you enjoy receiving it.
  
  
• Make a list of all things any romantic partner has done in the past that made you feel loved.
  
  
• Now, make a list of all the things any person in your life has done that made you feel loved.
  
  
• Read over the list and you should discover a pattern of your love style. Did you enjoy hearing loving words, receiving loving gifts, spending time together or actions that showed they really understood you? Sometimes there may be two patterns that emerge. Pick the one that resonates with you the most as your main love style.
  
  
• Have your partner go through the same steps you did.
  
  
• When you have both determined your love style, exchange lists and talk about the things that make you feel loved.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 10:39 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Before your next fight, read this (and October’s O Magazine)

There is a great little article in the latest issue of O that might just help you do a 180 during your next argument and allow you to turn your adversary into a partner.

The article, written by expert negotiator Daniel Shapiro PhD, opens with a situation that I am sure many of us can relate to. His wife wakes him up angrily early on a Saturday morning to complain he hadn’t done the dishes. He, however, had been up all night doing both of their tax returns and he was tired. She, clearly, is angry. And very quickly, he feels his own anger build. An all-out argument is about to ensue. They are going to do the your wrong and I’m right thing until the other gives in.

Shapiro is ticked off and he is tired. But he is also a trained professional and beyond all the anger he knows somewhere in the back of his mind the problem isn’t really a bunch of dirty plates. He says it’s about the way they have been treating each other. “We’ve started behaving like adversaries. And the longer we fight, the more defensive we’ll get and the more we’ll lash out – until a spat about dishes turns into a heated referendum about who deserves to live”. He goes on to say that, “The small stuff is just that – small. But if you are not careful, it can turn into a big problem that tears at the fabric of a relationship”. Not really a surprise to any of us in couples, but it’s what he does about it that may help all of us (engaged or newly married couples epecially).

He has spent 15 years studying the role of emotions in conflict situations so Shapiro’s work has given him some insight as to how to handle his own domestic circumstance constructively. Keyword: constructively. To do this you must keep in mind (pull this up from the depths of your brain past the name-calling and the bad feelings) that, essentially, you love and respect the other person. You must find a way to turn your adversary into a partner. He says this is crucial because, “As her adversary, I want to defeat her. As her partner, I want to listen to her – really listen”.

Because he is a professional, he has a plan that he has made in advance. Great idea. Figuring about how to handle a difficult situation before it starts, particularly in relationships, is something we are greatly in favor of. (Kind of like pre-marriage education…but I digress)

• Step one: The first thing he suggests is to take a 15 minute break to cool off and figure out what to do next.

• Step two: Shapiro channels his Aunt Margaret. But you could try channeling any person you know who shows a great deal of compassion and is able to listen well without judging. Aunt Margaret also apparently advocates breathing deeply and trying to see the other person's perspective. Good thinking. Smart woman.

• Step three: After gaining some empathy from Step Two, you have to communicate the fact that you have seen the situation from the other person’s POV (point of view) and you now “get it”. The dirty dishes are not the problem.

Probably by the time you have reached Step Three you have calmed down. Keep in mind, however, your partner may still be fuming. Shapiro suggests remembering the crucial truth that there is “power in one”. Even though the other person may still be angry, we don’t have to react to them angrily. Instead, if we keep in mind that we want to turn the other person back into a partner (not have them be an enemy for the rest of the day) we can try making them feel listened to, understood, and appreciated.

Shapiro gets to the heart the emotions behind this conflict (indeed anger is almost always covering some other emotion – fear, resentment, etc) by asking his wife with genuine interest and concern, “What is it you are hoping for right now?” And then they, as partners once again, got to the heart of the matter. It wasn’t the dishes. Of course it wasn’t.

It’s a great article. Well worth reading, with some practical suggestions for couples to put into practice when conflicts arise.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 3:31 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Talk it Out Before You Tie The Knot - Low Sex Drive!

What is it they say be for TV shows with adult content? WARNING: the following contains mature content of a sexual nature and may not be suitable for all readers. Seriously.

There is no getting around it, sex is a big part of most marriages and at some point, though very dificult for many people, it needs be discussed. The format of the couplesquestions.com workbook may help take some of the embarrassment out of these (and possibly other) types of discussions. But in the meantime...

We aren't experts in sex therapy, but we had an e-mail lately from a man concerned about how his low sex drive and inability to perform the way he wants is affecting his marriage. We replied to him specifically, but a blog post on the subject generally may offer suggestions to other men in this same situation. Hopefully we can help a little.

First off, if you are experiencing low sex drive and inability to perform (impotence or premature ejaculation) you are probably pretty normal. There are lots of people in the same situation. Your first step should be to go talk to your doctor and see if there is anything wrong medically. It could be any number of things. It could be something that there is a medication for. Or it could be something like work stress. In that case, you may need to make a change in your life, like getting a different job.

Second, having a low sex drive may not even be the problem. The problem may be that you and your wife (we are assuming same-sex partners) are not in sync. If you have a very low sex drive and she has a high one, you both need to find a way to meet in the middle. You might think that sexual intercourse is the only real sex, but it is not (no matter what Bill Clinton says!). You could try oral sex on her and then finish up with intercourse. You could hold her and hug her while she masturbates. There is massage, there are games, there are toys.

It might be hard to try anything new when you are already nervous or even angry with each other. It may be much easier if you see a therapist or counsellor together. The counsellor will be much more helpful than we could ever be. And because they have all the proper training, you are both more likely to believe what they tell you.

Talking to your doctor or counsellor will probably be tough for you to do. Most men don't like to talk about this stuff, especially if there is a problem. But that is what doctors and counselors are there for. If you really find it too embarrassing, then print off this blog post and give that to the doctor to read. Your marriage is worth it.

If you can't afford a counsellor, you might be able to get free counselling provided at work or you might talk to your minister or priest or someone else like that. There are lots of free resources available from libraries, community centers, and free clinics. Start with a Google Search of what's available in your area.

You are doing the right thing -- looking for the knowledge you need to fix the problem. You should be proud of yourself. One thing you should ask yourself is "Does my partner know that I am trying to fix this situation?" Just like any challenge in a relationship, talking (or communicating about it in some way) helps. Your partner needs to know that you are worried about the situation and trying to do something ot make it better. She might not know it. You should tell her what you are doing. And you should tell her that you are doing it because she is worth it. So is your relationship.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: sex

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:35 AM 2 Comments Links to this post

CouplesQuestions.com launches

CouplesQuestions.com is now live. Yay!

Important discount information below!!

It has been a LONG process. It's been two years since we first had the idea for this website and we are finally ready to roll! We have gained a sincere appreciation of all the effort and time (LOTS of time!) that goes into creating an attractive, secure, and easy to use website. We hope that we have met that description.

Most importantly we hope that our site provides a useful service to couples who are getting serious, getting engaged, or are newly married. Furthermore, we want to spread the word to couples about focusing a bit of time and energy on the marriage (not just the excitement of the wedding... or moving in together).

In an effort to present a worthwhile experience to you and your partner, we had the site content (and price and look...) reviewed by:

• test couples
• interested singles, people who have been married before
  
• proofreaders
  
• (most importantly) qualified registered therapists
  

We've done our best to make it just right, but we are only human and being so, are given to the occasional error. For that we apologize. Should you decide to try our site, in order to improve it, we would really value your feedback - both positive and negative (honestly, we can take it!).

For those of you wishing to try CouplesQuestions.com we are pleased to offer you a 30% discount. Just enter the dicount code: IMABLOGGER when you register. This offer is good until October 31, 2006.

And a special thanks to our friend Barry for his picture of the sun rising over a new morning.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: service announcements

posted by Heather and Dan @ 7:07 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Looking for wedding inspiration?

You could look to the movies! You might find some cautionary tales, too.

DVD ideas is a pretty neat idea. It's a site for buying movies on DVD. But it is organized (very well organized) by topic. Not just "drama", "action", or "comedy". But by A LOT of subjects, with a neat little tab organizer at the top, as well as search.

So, if you want to find movies on marriage, click on the relationship/family tab, then marriage. And you'll find 64 to choose from.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 9:11 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Who should do premarriage counselling?

We think just about everyone can benefit from some form of marriage education, of course. But some people are at higher risk of divorce and there is some evidence that they are less likely to do premarriage counselling.

The highest risk factor for divorce is different for men and women.

For men, the one thing that most raises your risk of divorce: if your father was violent or abusive toward your mother.

For women, the one highest risk factor: if your own parents divorced.

In both cases, knowledge is power. And a premarriage course is one of the best ways you can get the knowledge to help you increase your odds of a successful marriage.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 8:46 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Same-Sex Marriage: Don't we have bigger things to worry about?

I find myself wondering, today, what the big deal is about same-sex marriage. I really don't understand why people get so up-in-arms about this issue. I mean, honestly, if two people who love each other want to formalize and legalize that union, why not? I can't see how a marriage between loving, consenting adults of the same gender will in any way dimished the sentiment or meaning around the marriages of heterosexual couples. It doesn't make sense to me.

And anyway, aren't their more important issues in the world than whether two men or two women who love and respect each other want to marry? With the war in Iraq and Afganistan, with the drug problem in cities large and small, with the state of the environment, with famine and the AIDS crisis in Africa, with the huge problems in the educational systems in North America...don't we already have enough to get our knickers in a knot about?

As I write this, my husband and babies are sleeping peacefully in the early morning and some very disturbing news is playing on the TV in the corner of the room. Since yesterday morning all Canadians have been innundated with news and images from the college shooting in Montreal. It is heartbreaking to me that someone could be so full of hate and self-loathing that he could carry out such a dispicable act. Undoubtedly, as the hours and days pass we will learn more about the shooter that will give us the specifics as to why he may have committed such an act. Predictably all the tragedies of his own life will be revealed.

People will be up in arms over the various aspects of this case. They will be appalled at the lack of security. They will blame, perhaps, his parents or society for creating and condoning such a monster. They will express deep concern about the types of disturbingly violent websites availble that negatively and violently shape the lives of children. They will blame governments for the lack of support for people with mental illnesses. They will wonder why nobody saw this coming and did nothing to stop it. These are, and absolutely should be, areas for great and deep concern. These are some of the deep rooted societal problems we SHOULD be worrying about.

But at the same time as I am taking in all the commentary on this truly sad event, I am reading through various news reports about governments that think banning same sex-marriages is the answer to preserving a healthy, family oriented society. Much (too much) time has been spent worrying about and arguing about the definition of marriage. There is even talk of ammending the US Constistitution in favour of preserving the marriage "ideal". It seems to me ironic that those governing "the land of the free" want to take away the rights of roughly 10% of the American population. (Interestingly, in the US, it wasn't until 1967 that the previous laws in various states preventing inter-racial marriage were deemed unconstitutional...hmmm, don't think that would fly these days!)

Some celebrity couples are taking a stand on this issue. Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie are refusing to marry until same sex couples are awarded the same rights to marry in the US as heterosexual couples. Charlize Theron and her partner have taken the same stand. (I wonder...maybe they could marry in Canada or one of the other few countries that recognize same-sex marriage.)

At couplesquestions.com we don't worry about who you are, what your religion is, or what your sexual orientation is. We only hope you find love and hold on to it. We hope you live an honest, full life with the partner of you choice, and let your relationship be an example of respect, humour and caring to those that know you. After all...

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:46 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Wedding Season is Over...or is it?

Are you like us and thought that the traditional wedding season is over for the year? Are you under the impression that June, July and August are the most popular months to tie the knot? Well, you are right. But to my surprise, only just.

Though the summer months are the most popular for weddings (those months being different for our friends reading in Australia and New Zealand, of course!) you can see from the chart below that, actually, people get hitched at all times of the year.

Rank	Month	Percent
1.	August	10.43
2.	June	10.37
3.	July	9.92
4.	September	9.63
5.	October	9.60
6.	May	9.34
7.	April	7.49
8.	November	7.43
9.	December	7.37
10.	March	6.85
11.	February	6.45
12.	January	5.13

(http://pressroom.hallmark.com/wedding_facts.html)

Don't feel you have to have a summer wedding just because you think that's what's popular. The truth is, you can have an absolutely lovely wedding at any time of the year and if you choose one of the "off season" months, you might even save a little money and encounter less competition for services. One suggestion we might give is that if you are planning wedding with many guests from out of town, you might consider the cost of travelling at certain times of the year. It's often less expensive during the off season.

No matter when you get married, do it on your terms (yours and your partner's, that is!) and try to spend some time thinking about the marriage as well as the wedding. CouplesQuestions.com may help you do that.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 8:36 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Pre-nuptial Agreements

We have posted before on our thoughts regarding pre-nups. But not everyone thinks the same way we do or has the same financial situation as we had when we were married. If you are going to (or need to) take the route of getting a pre-nuptial agreement there are some very important things to consider.

We consulted our dear friend and lawyer Alex Stojicevic** who gave us some advice on this issue. When I asked him if a do-it-yourself pre-nup is advisable (perhaps using something like a Self Counsel kit) he was adamant. He stated that, "you MUST have a lawyer do a prenup." He went on further to say that using a do-it-yourself kit will provide a good review of the issues so that you can focus the laywer on the specifics of your situation, but "the reality is you need to have actual legal advice for the contract to be valid anyway."

If your financial situation is such that you are in need of a prenuptial agreement you (and your partner) might consider discussing the matter with your financial advisors to go over money matters. However, keep in mind that financial planners usually have no training in the area of writing prenuptial agreements, nor do they carry any liability insurance in this area.

When I asked Alex the best way to find a lawyer if a person doesn't have one, he noted that there are good family lawyers everywhere. If you are in need of legal cousel, for whatever reason, contact your local branch of the Canadian Bar Association, the American Bar Association - or whichever is appropriate for you in your country. They will have a referral service which will find you a family lawyer in your area.

So much planning and preparation goes into joining two lives. There is no doubt that when dealing with sensitive issues, such as money and finance, there is the potential for conflict and disagreement. Please remember the love and respect you have for your partner when working through some of the more sensitive details of getting married.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

** Alex Stojicevic is the managing partner of Maynard Kischer Stojicevic in Vancouver BC. He is a legal wizard extrodinaire who specializes in immigration and citizenship. He is happily married to the beautiful and amazing Einat and has gorgeous twin daughters, Sophie and Hannah.

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:06 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Goal Setting: as a couple and as individuals

In a post a few days ago, I wrote about what the elements are to building a 40 year marriage. I talked specifically about my parents’ anniversary celebrations, but I didn’t mention one very valuable aspect of their relationship that they have always done which they shared with Dan and I: goal setting. Goal setting has since become a very important part of our marriage and a key element of couplesquestions.com.

Every year my parents would go away for at least one night, but usually for the weekend. They would leave their four children (I’m #3) with my Dad’s mom, go somewhere not too far away (usually Tofino) and use that time to reconnect, go over their goals and make some new ones for the coming year. I suppose it was kind of an Annual General Meeting for their relationship. But, it wasn’t all business, I’m sure. If I know my folks, they made time to explore, to hike, to learn something new about the place they were staying and to have a romantic dinner or two. But in all of that, they spent some time talking about their personal goals, about their goals for their relationship and their goals for the family.

Just like it is in business, for athletes, for students or for people trying to get healthy, setting goals is a great tool for couples (and for families). Goal setting can help you focus on what you really want to do and meeting those goals can help you to feel successful. For more on the importance of goal setting, check out this very nice little article by Alex Cleanthous. As a couple you might set fitness goals, financial goals, household goals (paint the house, organize the garage), or goals for your relationship ( practice better communication, have a special date night at least once a month, read a “couples” book together and discuss).

You should also set personal goals, too, and that way you can support each other in reaching for and achieving your dreams. When my parents do this each year, they always refer to it as making their “no regrets plan”. I really admire them for not wanting life to pass them by without at least TRYING to achieve some of the things they want to before they can't anymore.

I was reminded of this style of life planning when I saw Lance Armstrong on Ellen the other day and he was encouraging a cancer patient to continue to work on his life goals. What an amazing way to help a person stay focused on their LIFE while struggling with an illness. We can all learn from that, I think. What was the line from that Tim McGraw song? “He said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying”.

Find your “no regrets plan” for yourself and for each other!

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

Labels: goals

posted by Heather and Dan @ 6:36 AM 1 Comments Links to this post

Bringing out the best in each other

It wasn't exactly bungee jumping or gator wrasslin'.

But on the weekend, Heather convinced me to take the kids to the Saanich Fair so that they could see the animals. Crowds are not my thing and hassle is not my thing. I wasn't into going, but forced myself because Heather really wanted to.

Of course, I had a great time!

I don't know if it is cause or effect... but this seems to happen in good relationships. Both partners end up trying things that they wouldn't have on their own. It isn't about being supportive no matter what and being dragged off to yet another [insert an event that you particularly loathe]. Rather, it is being open to trying something that is just a little outside what you would normally do because you are with someone you can trust.

So, thanks Heather!

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 8:06 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

40th Anniversary…what's the secret to reaching it?

Yesterday was my parents’ 40^th wedding anniversary. They celebrated the event by having a small mass at home - my uncle is a Catholic missionary visiting from where he lives in West Bengal, India – where my parents, to my surprise, renewed their marriage vows. This was followed by a wine and cheese party that included family, friends and a few neighbours. It was a lovely day and folks gathered on their patio overlooking the bay to raise their glasses in a toast to my Mom and Dad’s achievement of 40 years together.

While celebrating the mass in honour of my parents, my uncle spoke at length about commitment and how difficult it is to remain constant in our commitment to each other over long periods of time. How the ups and downs of everyday life can sometimes cause our commitment to waiver. He talked about the importance of fidelity and faithfulness and he talked about honesty in its varying forms. (I asked him later what he meant by “varying forms” and he said, “Sometime NOT telling something can be as hurtful as telling a lie and being brutally honest can also be hurtful…we should temper what we say with kindness and sensitivity”).

Then my uncle led my parents to renew their wedding vows. It was short, sweet and very touching. Forty years after they first spoke the words, they promised to love, honour and cherish each other lawfully - again - for as long as they both shall live. As their child it was a truly proud and wonderful moment to witness.

Later when the wine glasses were full, I made a brief speech about some of the elements that went into their 40 years together, but not before I polled the guests as to what their opinions were on the subject. The guests, some of whom have been married longer than 40 years, called out their answers: Love! Sense of humour! Patience! Learn to say “Yes Dear”! Commitment!

It is true that lot goes into building, creating, surviving a forty year marriage. I broke it down into some statistics for those of us hoping to make to that anniversary:

After 40 years together you will have been married

• 21,024,000 minutes
• 350,400 hours
• 14,600 days

After 40 years together you will have shared

• approx 43,500 meals together
• around 10,000 pots of afternoon tea (of coffee, if that's your thing)
• and around 900 trays of muffins (at least in my family that was the case)

Specifically related to my parents and family, after 40 years together:

• There have been 250 birthdays (200 of which have included discussions on who made the cake)
• There have been about 300 dinner parties (well, 299 actually because nobody came to that first party up in Yellowknife)
• There have been 75 trips to the hospital, 4 for Mom when Dave Steve Geoff and I were born, 5 trips for the grandchildren and the remaining 64 were for Dad…most recently on Friday with a series of nasty wasp stings! Bless him, he is rather accident prone!)
• There have been 40 Easters, 40 Thanksgivings, and 40 Christmas’ most of them spent around a huge table of family and friends with exceptional food, of course…
• There have been 8 cars
• 6 houses (and no doubt mountains of debt that have be climbed and descended)
• 3 retirements
• I Bed and Breakfast run
• 1 trip to India
• 35 trips to Tofino
• 38 successful gardens (to one degree or another). I could go on, but I won't.
  

These mentioned above are all countable components to building a 40 year marriage, but of course there and many uncountable elements as well. These are some of the immeasureables:

• The number of hugs and kisses
• The number of late night worry sessions
• The number of times they have fought and made up
• The number of belly laughs
• The number of tears
• The number of prayers asked and answered

All of this, and more I suppose, goes into building a 40 year marriage. I say "building" because there is no way around it, to be successful marriage it takes at least some work. My parents have been an example to me for their humour, their kindness and their commitment to each other, to their family and to their friends.

To those of you reading this I wish you every happiness in your marriage or your partnership as you work toward YOUR 40^th anniversary.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 7:09 AM 1 Comments Links to this post

A big thank you!

Yesterday, we hit the 100 post mark on this blog and this morning, we topped 6000 visits since we started keeping track. Thanks everybody!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 9:34 AM 0 Comments Links to this post