What does romance mean to you?
I remember a TV ad a little while ago (it was one of those where I have no recollection of what they are selling, but I liked it anyway) that showed a man and woman on the couch on their anniversary. He gives her a tiny little box with a bow on it and she hands him a pizza. Each opens their gift with absolute delight knowing that the other had given them the perfect expression of love. Dan and I always laughed at that one because it could have been us in that ad. It matched us to a tee...maybe other couples, too.There is, of course, more to romance than gift giving - it is also in the way we act toward our spouse/partner. No two people view romance in exactly the same way and it's probably no secret that men and women have a different idea of the "Art of Wooing". Sometimes we do things for our partner because it is what WE like and assume (always dangerous!) that our beloved will like it too. Just because I love to have a candle lit bubble bath drawn for me at the end of a long day, does not mean Dan would enjoy it or find it romantic.
Wouldn't you like to know what your partner's true idea of romance is? Wouldn't you like to know what you do that makes them feel cared for and adored? You may think you know, but do you really? This should be one of the dicussions couples have early on in their relationship to smooth the way for a loving future together. Below is a great little assignment from the folks at lovingyou.com. Lovingyou.com is a terrific resource that I only just discovered a short while ago (where the heck have I been?) that you should check out.
Assignment:
- Think about what romance and love mean to you and how you enjoy receiving it.
- Make a list of all things any romantic partner has done in the past that made you feel loved.
- Now, make a list of all the things any person in your life has done that made you feel loved.
- Read over the list and you should discover a pattern of your love style. Did you enjoy hearing loving words, receiving loving gifts, spending time together or actions that showed they really understood you? Sometimes there may be two patterns that emerge. Pick the one that resonates with you the most as your main love style.
- Have your partner go through the same steps you did.
- When you have both determined your love style, exchange lists and talk about the things that make you feel loved.
posted by Heather and Dan @ 10:39 AM
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