Planning a wedding? Don’t forget it’s HIS big day, too!

Heck, some have it all planned long before they even met the man of their dreams and have been refining the particulars of the shindig since childhood. After all, it is a favorite topic if interest and discussion for many women. We love the details of the wedding gown and the bridesmaids’ dresses and the color schemes and the flowers and the hairdos and the music and the menus... It’s fun for many of us!

But what about the guys? Does the Cinderella day that has been organized in your mind for such a long time suit your fiance too? Are his personality, background and interests being reflected in The Day or are you taking over and making it your way or the highway?

I think it is safe to say that not all men will be remotely interested in planning a wedding (True, I have seen many an eye glaze over!) and find themselves comfortable with the idea that whatever you plan will be fine. Just tell them when and where to show up. (Come to think of it I can think of a few women who think that way too, but that is another blog.) However, believe it or not, not all men think that way. Don’t assume your future hubby doesn’t want to be involved or at least have some input. Some fellas may even wish to help because they see the amount of stress that you are under but don't know where to begin.

BridalGuide.com has some great ideas about how you might include the man in your life as you plan your big day. Using some of these suggestions might motivate your fiancé to become more involved in the planning and help the two of you to come up with a wedding that reflects you as a couple, not just the bride.

Here are a few of my favorite ideas from Patricia King’s article (For some more suggestions be sure to check out her “Top 10 Man-Friendly duties”):

Put his interests to use
Is your fiancé an accountant? Have him draw up a budget. If he’s a writer, put him in charge of the vows or the invitation wording.

Change your perspective (I love this idea!)
Before you start planning that fantasy-fuelled extravaganza, stop. Forget the whole wedding idea for a minute. Sit down with your fiancé and pretend you’re planning a New Year’s Eve or birthday party instead. What would be the most important aspect of your shindig? What would you spend the most money on? What’s relatively less important? If you approach it - for a few minutes, anyway - as a laid-back party that the two of you are throwing together, it becomes less intimidating, and you’ll get more involvement, input and help from your guy.

Mine his memory
Ask your fiancé what he remembers about weddings he’s attended. What did he love or hate? Which wedding stands out the most, and why? At which wedding did he have the most fun? The answers to these questions will give you both a better idea of what is important to him.

Discuss your relationship
Any way that you can personalize your ceremony or reception will not only add to your guests’ enjoyment, but will also make planning more fun and meaningful for you. Jennifer Hardy, 29, of Walled Lake, Michigan, and her fiancé, Phil, have put a twist on the reception playlist with a nontraditional tune that hits home. 'Since we’re both high school teachers and we met at the school where we work, we’ve requested that the DJ play Van Halen’s ‘Hot for Teacher!’'

Shy away from tradition
Together come up with a way of doing things a little bit differently. If you have a wedding with many out-of-town guests who are unfamiliar with your city, forego the rehearsal dinner and try something different: Rent a coach bus, hired a tour guide and give friends and family a tour of the town. The guest will love it and it will be nice for the Bride and Groom to simply relax and mingle before the big day.

Including the groom in the wedding plans may mess with the dream wedding you have had going on in your head for some time. But incorporating his ideas and his personality you may find that the real wedding is more beautiful, more meaningful and more fun than you ever imagined.

posted by Heather and Dan @ 2:12 PM