A new kind of intimacy?

You are not alone, it seems, and this phenomenon of bring computers, blackberries and other gadgets into the bedroom is not entirely due to the fact that as a society we may be addicted to being connected. According to a recent New York Times article, it may be a new form of intimacy. A couple may feel like spending time in bed together, though working separately on different tasks on different laptops, is a way of staying close with each other and spending some time together. The alternative, I suppose is that they would work on whatever it is that is preoccupying them in another, possibly separate, room in the house.

The article goes on to say that, for some couples, perhaps only one partner will have work (or a fun activity like blogging!) that needs to be done and will join their other half in bed as they read or fall asleep. This, some see as a way to maintain a connection with their spouse even if they are not actually talking to each other and doing different activities. It might be likened to the way people spend time together, not talking, watching TV or movies. After all, is it really any different? Some say absolutely, "Yes! It is!"

For many people on the other side of this issue, the bedroom is sacred and the bed even more so. It is a place of comfort and rest and not a place for work. The very idea of having a laptop in bed -especially one where someone is working or chatting with other people when the other is trying to snooze- is totally counter intuitive to that ideal. Not to mention the fact that a constant tap, tap, tapping on the keyboard may drive some people nuts! If you both love it, then great. But if one of you is less than thrilled with such a night-time ritual, then you need to deal with it.

The key to this issue, as with just about every other potential conflict in a marriage, is to talk about it or communicate in some way to get your needs met (and your partner's, too). Find a way to compromise if you have differing opinions about laptops in the bedroom. Set out some ground rules if necessary.

Check out the article in The NY Times. It provides some interesting perspectives on the topic.

A final hint on the subject: if you ARE the type of couple that likes to bring the laptops into the boudoir, consider taking a moment out of your work to send a romantic instant message or two to the person beside you. It will make them feel special and I'll bet you anything you will get a loving (maybe even passionate) message back!

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 2:40 PM