Happiness: What is it and how do you get it
You know us. We are all about helping make the world a happier place one couple at a time. This weekend, we were listening to a radio call-in program on the CBC. The topic was something like “Happiness: What is it and how do you get it?” and I didn’t have to think very hard before I knew how I would answer this question in the moment.
For me, happiness is when both children are having naps, the sun is streaming in through our living room window and Dan and I can spend a few quiet moments together…Yay! Bliss!
Never mind that there are probably much more serious topics that could be handled by a hard hitting news channel these days, to me it seemed wonderfully relaxing – yes, even happiness inducing - to sit in contemplation on the subject. The conversation ranged from whether or not money could by happiness, to whether religion, or lack thereof, is a source of joy and contentment. As well, the conversation touched on whether rich people were happier than poor people and if happiness was a luxury for the developed world only. All very interesting viewpoints on the topic.
It made me wonder if there was any research out there about whether there is a happiness quotient for committed couples. Was the level of happiness and satisfaction different if a couple was married or if they were cohabitating? Are single people happier? Rich couples happier than those who don’t have as much money? The evidence I found was conflicting. Here is what I learned so you can decide for yourself:
o Money CAN by happiness (check it out)
o Money CAN’T buy happiness (go here to see more)
o People who are single and people who are married have equal potential for happiness (find out why)
o But, married people are actually happier (Is it true? It certainly feels true!)
o Furthermore, couples who live together before marriage are less likely to experience as much happiness as married couples (This is where they explain.)
It’s all interesting, but can be rather confusing depending on what you choose to believe.
But there is one area where many of the studies on marriage (or coupling) and happiness agree and that is that each partner will experience a greater level of happiness dependant on how happy their spouse (married or otherwise) is. If your spouse is happy, then you are more likely to be happy. Seems to make sense to me. I am fond of saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. Of course, it’s true the other way around as well and either way it seems to hold true in our relationship.
So it seems we all have a vested interest in helping keep our loved ones happy. In order to do that, we all need to find ways of getting to know our partners more deeply. This knowledge should be based on actual truths about what makes the other person happy, not based on our assumptions about what we think makes them happy or worse about what is really something that provides happiness to us (not them). Really understanding your partner by having important discussions early on in your relationship will help enhance their happiness – and therefore yours - for a lifetime.
Happy Couples, Happy Planet!
posted by Heather and Dan @ 7:44 AM
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