The Point and Click Mentality and Your Relationship

I know that there are some things couples can do that will usually instantly improve their partner’s day or mood (even if they are already having a fabulous day). You know your partner best, so we can’t really tell you exactly what to do for instantaneous bettering of your relationship, but you can always try the very effective:

• Show your partner appreciation
• Give each other space to do things you enjoy
• Make dates to spend time together and make each other feel special
• Initiate romance (not JUST sex)
• Hold hands when you are walking …why not?

I bet if you try any one of the above you will quickly be very happy with the outcome, and that is always desirable.

However, though these activities may seem like they may work as “quick fix”, it is important to keep in mind that none of these actions (or others like them) is a “one off”. Building a good marriage takes time, effort and consistency. The point and click mentality of this modern world may make us, on some level, expect that once we decide to have a wedding and join our lives, that things should be completely easy from then on out. This is a dangerous attitude.

As Dan and I were talking about this, he said, “Think of the relationship like gardening.” (He is very into his garden just now – and it is coming along wonderfully I might add.) In the spring, you get all excited about the warm weather and start planning what you’d like to grow. You visit nurseries and decide on colours and varieties and you being to think about where you are going to plant things. For those with a green thumb, this is a very exciting time. But, if after the seeds are in the ground, you ignore them or forget to water them you are going to have serious problems. And, if you don’t keep the weeds from taking over you are going to lose everything you planted. Are you getting my not so subtle point?

For me, I look at it like wanting to lose 30 pounds and then going to the gym only one time (wouldn’t it be great if that worked??) and expecting fabulous results. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?

Improving our relationships (even if they are already pretty terrific) is not as simple as navigating our way through Cyberia. Quick fixes are not always possible. While keeping in mind that the little things we do for our partners DO matter, we have to remind ourselves that we are in this for the long haul. CouplesQuestions.com encourages you to offer your beloved your time, love, energy, enthusiasm and commitment in creative and consistent ways will help your relationship continue to grow and deepen.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 10:03 PM