Talk it Out Before You Tie The Knot - Money Matters
For couples who are getting married or embarking on any serious and lifelong relationship, it is important to talk about issues that may cause potential pitfalls BEFORE problems arise. Each person brings their own ideas, perspective and background to any relationship and how your partner does something or views an issue may be different from you. This can cause conflict. That is what our soon to be launched website, CouplesQuestions.com, is about - talking things over before problems come up.Not surprisingly, one of the biggest problem areas couples can face is money issues. Time and again, disagreements about finances are cited as causes for conflict in relationships and (sorry to be negative here) as reasons for breakups. When we did our pre-marriage counselling, the counselor indicated to us that people fit into four basic types where money is concerned. To paraphrase her, they are:
- The Spender – one who spends for today, denies themselves little and typically uses credit a great deal
- The Saver – is very conscious of putting money away and spends as little as necessary. A penny saved is a penny earned.
- The Builder – is one who wants to use the money as a tool to, essentially, get more money. Investments are the thing.
- The Giver – is someone who spends but with a focus on other people (family, friends, gifts, etc.)
It is no secret that money matters are a common cause of problems in relationships. We all know this. And yet, so many of us don’t have the important conversations around money in our relationships that we should. This doesn’t have to be a scary thing to do - especially since you LOVE the person you need to have the conversation with and they love you! You are planning to build a life together. Why not start with a strong foundation?
Where to start?
- Each of you should talk about your money habits.
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- What kind of debt do you each have (together or separately)?
- What are your money obligations?
- What are your financial goals? How do you plan to meet these goals?
More in-depth and specific questions related to money will be part of CoupleQuestions.com when the site is launched… soon!
Happy Couples, Happy Planet!
posted by Heather and Dan @ 9:32 PM
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