If It Hurts, Don’t Do It…

Those of you who have been following along know that Dan and I are expecting our second child, a boy this time, in the next few weeks. As I am getting near the end, my doctor’s appointments are stepping up in frequency and I always feel a little bit like I am wasting my Doc’s time as a) I am now an experienced mother, so I have few questions, and b) I am “grossly normal” –meaning that I don’t really have many complaints or problems. At my last visit, however, I was almost happy to have something to say other than, “no, everything’s fine”. I disclosed that I have been experiencing some pain when I walk or when I ride the stationary bike too quickly (ie anything above a snail’s pace). She asked me if the pain was short-lived and I told her that, no, it was long lasting. Her response was clear and practical: “If it hurts, don’t do it. Try something else.”

When I got home after the appointment and reported back to Dan, it occurred to us (well to him, really, as I was too busy breaking out the pickles and ice cream) that it is exactly the same in relationships. If it hurts, don’t do it. Now let’s be very clear here, we are not suggesting packing in your relationship at the first sign of trouble. But, if you are in constant agony as to whether your partner is really the one for you, or worse, if they make you feel sad, belittled, or unworthy then you need to move on. If it hurts, don’t do it. Try something else. It is really as simple as that (though I realize become more complicated if children and finances are involved…).

Look at it this way: if you were doing something that was causing you physical pain, you would probably stop that activity and find a way to improve the situation and then, if necessary, consult a medical professional. If it is a serious and prolonged heartache you are experiencing, don’t you think is makes sense to do the same thing? If it hurts, don’t do it. You deserve so much better.

Happy Couples, Happy Planet!

posted by Heather and Dan @ 12:59 PM