Kissing for Couples

by John Ince

Kissing for Couples

by John Ince

Kissing is one of the most intimate and sensual acts for any couple. Yet the frequency and intensity of kissing tends to decline dramatically as a relationship matures.

Too bad.

If you want more kisses in your relationship, consider how you might get them.

Yes, please!

One way is to simply initiate more kissing than you regularly do. Your partner might find this fun and exciting and be inspired to do the same to you. This could trigger a spiral of increasing lip to lip passion.

The best time to do take such a bold step is during lovemaking when both of you are already focused on sensual experience. The lure of genital stimulation is so strong that it often pulls attention from other sensual body parts, like the mouth. But you can resist this pattern by focusing at first on kissing and not moving to other erotic zones before much wonderful lip and tongue action has occurred. Try a minimum of five minutes of necking before you touch any other body part.

And when you do move on in your sexual interaction, don’t forget to return to kissing. It is a delicious spice that can happen simultaneously while other erotic dishes are being served.

Let's make a date

Another idea is to schedule a necking night. It is sure to rekindle the flames of your romance. Setting up a sensual event may seem strange, but pays many rewards. It allows you and your partner to prepare for the event (like brushing your teeth!), and to find time free of distractions from kids, the phone, and work. The anticipation of the event can also be exciting.

Book a time when you are both rested. The evening after an exhausting day of work is not a good idea. Saturday or Sunday nights are usually the best.

Dedicate at least one hour for your oral play. Have a beverage nearby to keep your mouth wet and juicy. A glass of wine or a warm tea or exotic juice are perfect.

The best location for your necking session is the living room sofa or floor. Avoid the bedroom. The temptation to get sexual there is often too great to resist. And keep your clothes on. The action is all focused on the head and mouth so no need to disrobe.

Extra sensual treats like candles, incense, and your favorite sultry music are wonderful accompaniments.

Kissing 101

Here are a few ideas on kissing technique. Roam with your lips beyond your partner’s mouth. Ears, eye brows, the back of the neck, the forehead are all erogenous zones. And get your fingers involved in the session. Trace your lover’s lips, nose, chin, hairline with your index finger. Probe your finger(s) into their mouth as you kiss them. Suck on their fingers too. (Remember to wash your hands before you start the session.)

Words too can spice up your kisses. Whisper hot or loving endearments in their ear. Make them laugh! Kissing can be light and playful and still really fun.

Cranking up the kissing action in your relationship can affect more than your sensual life. Couples often tell me that the two hours of kissing at the Kissing Class we offer at The Art of Loving promoted very hot loving-making afterwards and deeper emotional bonds over the longer term.

Contributor

John Ince is co-owner of The Art of Loving, a sex toy boutique in Vancouver, British Columbia. He is a lawyer and the author of The Politics of Lust.